Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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