dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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