I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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