Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
