I skipped work to stalk him.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
