If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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