dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
