I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
