Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
