just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
