Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize