Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
