hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
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I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
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I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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