bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
