margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
