Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
this boner is exhausting
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
