I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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