My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
