And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
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