so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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