watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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