If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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