I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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