I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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