That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
