big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
