So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
