so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
