the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
