there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
