As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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