Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
