i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize