I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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