Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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