Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
