You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
