We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
