I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The power of my boobs compel you
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
