Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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