Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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