so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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