...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
