I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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