So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
