Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
