I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
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