You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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