I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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