i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
