I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
