She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
don't judge my taste in strippers
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
