also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
