I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he was CRYING into my vagina
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
