I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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