im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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