come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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