My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
