I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
