My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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