Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
from now on my penis is your penis
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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