The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
